i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
