i permit you to call me
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
