In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
he high fived his dick after we had sex
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
