I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize