She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Drunk is not a location!
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
