Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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