Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize