The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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