Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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