THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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