My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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