Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
