also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
