I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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