Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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