he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
