ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
