shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
So vagazzling was a success
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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