theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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