my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
