She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
