Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
