I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize