His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
