so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Terrible idea I love it
How does it feel to date your dad?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
