these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize