i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
