Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
If I die, sorry about rent.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
