how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
