I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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