Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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