I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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