you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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