well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize