The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
