The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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