Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
