At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
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