2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
