I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize