Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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