how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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