ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
