i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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