Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Let's paint friendship bongs
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Randomize
