She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
