A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
