I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
