Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
