Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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