She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
What a dumb baby whore.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
