ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
