she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
