he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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