Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
