is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
