So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
