Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
My dad just said "fuck circus"
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