This is not my ceiling
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
