i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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