she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
