I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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