Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
