Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
