Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
